Once in a lifetime… The stuff dreams are made of… Every Schoolboy’s desire. We were asked to play football at Wembley. On the pitch, the actualy full size Wembley pitch, with the full size Wembley goals. Anyone who has ever shown even the slightest interest in football will know that this just doesn’t happen.
An early one the night before then you might think. A good meal for strength and book in bed to rest up to prepare for this, the most momentous of days. Well not exactly. We went to a wine tasting and ended up trying somewhere in the region of 40 very nice wines and one very large cognac ending in zero memory of getting home. Oops.
So upon waking on what might be one of the most significant days of a young man’s life, the day on which I get to play at Wembley, at the home of football, on the hallowed turf — I have THE worst hangover of the year. Nice one.
It was very kind of Umbro to invite myself and Danny down to play football, not sure they would have done had they known our collective hours (or minutes) spent on a football pitch of any size since our teens. Or had they known about our combined medical history which has had one or the other of us laid up at some point over the last few years with a slipped disc or totally busted knee. In short two very unfit, permanently injured and very hung over not so young chaps limbered up in the dressing room (a real Wembley dressing room!) with some much younger, taller, fitter more professional looking footballers. oh and the boys from Reverend and the Makers, that guy off Soccer AM and the lanky one from Football Focus
Me and Danny were drawn on different teams, had it been the school yard we would have been reluctantly picked last by the team captains, thankfully someone had picked the starting 11s before hand and as requested i returned to my favoured position of goalkeeper. When i was kid i used to play every week for a team in my town and the school. I was pretty useful between the posts, not the tallest, but committed. Danny found himself on right midfield. There was every chance that me and Mitchell would come face to face at some stage. We lined up in the tunnel (!!!) side by side and trotted out for teams photos and then we were off.
In all honesty I imagine a blow by blow account of how the game went would be less than fascinating. Despite appearances nearly everyone was pretty average. As legs got tired there were plenty of goal mouth opportunities, i was kept especially busy of the two goalkeepers making quite a few saves including a top corner effort from a free kick, but alas, i did let 5 in. Danny held it down on the right, covering two positions at times and making a couple of incisive through balls. Our good friend Ted Kessler stole the show with an over head kick off the line (thanks Ted). We did 90 minutes at Wembley. Danny and his mates the Reverend and Makers won 5–3 although i think its only fair to note here that we had a goal disallowed for nothing and they scored a goal so far offside it wasn’t funny. We were kind of robbed.
Anyway, more importantly we both survived (although i did need help out of the bath this morning) with no major injuries and absolutely loved it. So much so that we’re gonna arrange another fixture for some time early next year. We’re going to be putting together a Social 11 for a few games against some other shitters, so any takers for a runout or indeed a game against us please drop us a line. I will ask about Wembley’s availability of course but we’ve got a scrap of dog shit grass and broken glass on hold at Regents Park failing that.